Welcome to Hell!

So, I guess this is where I tell you this is my blog, and it is pretty much all about painting miniatures, and gaming with miniatures, and spending huge sums of money on miniatures. It may also include pictures of miniatures, and I'll even try and make sure they are painted.


The following material is bound to be laced with profanity. If you are offended by words like cock and arse, you may wish to avoid browsing whilst your mother is in the room. If words like shite and fuck offend you, then you may wish to hit the 'back' button on your browser. If liberal use of the word cunt offends you, how the fuck did you get this far?

Monday, 22 January 2018


I don't know if anyone still reads this...  but, in any case, all my future content will be online at

The studio gaarew blog

Thanks to everyone that's followed so far, and hope to see you over there too.



Friday, 11 January 2013

Fucksake, another update. Could this be a regular thing?

Well, I certainly hope so.

I've added new pages detailing both the 11+1 (3x4) Challenge, and my personal projects, so that I can strike them off as they get done.

In actual hobby news, my paints arrived, so I've got all of the currently available Bones all primed, save the Orc Archer, who is on backorder, and the December releases, which should be making their way to the UK from Reaper as I type.

Interestingly enough, I set out 8 project goals, and sitting here, just realised that, including the bases, I have 8 shelves in my two display cabinets.  Think it might be time to do a bit of a switcharound to get them set up for a (hopeful) influx of new inhabitants.

And went and got a new printer cartridge to print out all my painting rosters for the projects, now, just need to find a crayon to colour them all in.

Monday, 7 January 2013

The 2013 11+1 Challenge. On a Zombie blog...

Yeah, so it's been a heluva long time since I posted here.  Last year was supposed to be a focus on my 15mm forays, but, well, a change in family circumstances put paid to that.  Bit more settled now, so, hopefully I can get my hobby mojo back in gear and get some shit done.

Now, the main purpose of this post is to detail my plans for the year, and elaborate on the 11+1 challenge.

I figured out a few things I wanted to do, foremost amongst them, to paint for the enjoyment of painting, rather than feeling forced too, and to generally just make the hobby my own again.  Saying that, I figured out a list of things I'd like to at least try and achieve.

1 - Get my Warhammer Fantasy Battle Ogre army up to 2400 points.  The reasons are twofold.  Firstly because that's the general size of the local games, and secondly, because I need a pure GW force if I want to head up the town and get a game in.  Chances are I won't be going to any tournaments, as they aren't really my thing, but if I do, I always have my Mantic Dwarf army to hand.  At the moment I have approximately 1000 points painted (Butcher, 6 Ogres with Ironfist, Full Command, 4 Ironguts with Full Command, and 4 Leadbelchers with Full Command)  I also have one of the Maneaters (the Ninja) painted up as a Bruiser with the Fencer's Blades.

2 - WARMAHORDES.  Been collecting/playing for about 9 years now, and other than my Merc's have never had a fully painted army, which is fucking shocking if you consider the amount of figures I have.  Or maybe that's the reason why...  Anyway, modest plans, so a 35pt army will suffice, probably Khador or Thornfall Minions.

3 - Empire of the Dead - In order to actually try and get some fully painted games in, it's probably best to start small.  Like a skirmish game.  So, being that I am currently in possession of the Brotherhood and Lycaon Werewolf starter bands, they'll do.

4 - Relics.  I picked up the Orcnar starter set from Maelstrom's haul our asses out of the fire sale, and have added a few extras to it to make it a 400 point army, in order to participate in the Paint along with Gav project over at Tor Gaming.  He's a cheeky cunt, but a good laugh, and he hasn't given me too hard a time yet for lagging behind...  Deadline, end of March.

5 - Reaper Bones - I'd picked up a few of these when they announced their kickstarter, and have continued to pick up all the releases so far.  What I'm hoping to do (eventually) is paint up one of each unique sculpt, on a circular base, just to have on display.  There are a few that I'll have on square bases, as I reckon I can shoe them in to Mighty Armies forces, and I have my eye on a few for my Alternative Angmar force too.  Deadline, end of March, because that is when a fucktonne of kickstarter figures will be released. 

6 - 15mm Fantasy - Speaking of Alternative Angmar, I'm planning on painting up the same army in 15mm.  So, that's another 50 or so figures to add to the backlog.

7 - 15mm Scifi - Towards the tail end of the year I actually managed to sit down and get some stuff done, namely 6 Rebel Minis Scourge figures.  I want to bump this up this year, and get a few more infantry squads done, as well as some vehicles and walkers if I can find anything suitable.

8 - Dystopian Legions - picked up the FSA starter set and the Infantry and support boxes, so, hope to get this done as it's another skirmish game.

Now the 11+1 Challenge is something I just recently heard about, and basically, you pick 12 figures that you plan to paint over the course of the year.  The kicker is, they must be personal ones.  You can't sell/swap/trade/lose them, or they have to be replaced and repainted, and they can't be gifts or commission work.  The figures must be in your possession come 2014.

Now being a silly bastard glutton for punishment, I figured 12 minis was piss easy, so, like most things in life, I figured I'd add my own spin to things.  Basically, I broke down the 11+1 into 3x4...

4 single figures, 4 small warbands/units of 2-5 figures, and 4 larger warbands/units of 6+ figures.  From here, I went over the plans I'd already made, and worked out how I could kill two birds with one paintjob, and came up with the following -

Single figures

Scibor's Big Fat Uncle - picked this up ages ago as an alt. Great Unclean One.  Recently been thinking about painting up my pile of Daemons for 40k, just to have an army, so he should be a good start.

Wargames Foundry Giant Troll - again, just something I picked up coz it was fucking cool.   I had hoped to shoe him in to a God of Battles force, but it looks like that has been canned...  Oh well.

Games Workshop Warhammer Fantasy Ogre Kingdoms BSB - A conversion of a maneater I did a while back, and am fairly proud of, considering the sculpting involved.  Nothing too spectacular, but I think I did a pretty bang-up job of the furs.  And he counts towards the deficit in the missing 1400 points of Ogres I wanna get done.


Warlord Games Bolt Action Weird War SS Werewolf - It's no secret I like werewolves, so the inclusion of one on the list shouldn't come as a surprise.  The real surprise is that there is only one on the list.  Nah, I'm kidding, there are more.  If you've been following closely, you'd know that because I listed them above.  Interestingly, this is the only thing on the list I don't already own.

Small Warbands/Units

Privateer Press Khador Battlebox, comprising of Sorscha, a Juggernaught and a Destroyer.  A mighty 3 figures.  I actually have a bunch of fully painted Khador 'jacks, done up in 5th Border Legion insignia, but I wanna go back to red with these.  Actually, that's a filthy lie.  I really wanna do a winter camo on them, similar to the really shitty looking whitewash paintjobs of WWII (he says, covering his own arse) and really go to town with weathering effects.  Also, helps towards the 35pt Warmahordes list I want to do.  They will be getting some sweet Ice World bases from Tiny Worlds, my newest lipped resin base supplier.

Wyrd Games Malifaux Zoraida starter box for the Neverborn faction.  The first Malifaux minis I ever picked up, and I still haven't built them yet.  Again, it's a skirmish game, so, hopefully playing fully painted before long.  5 figures in all, Zoraida, saggy titted auld witch, Bad Juju, the Mire Golem, and 3 Silurids (newtmen type things).  Plenty of scope for some funky, gunky swamp bases, which I've already picked up from Tiny Worlds.

40mm size shown to give you an idea.

Privateer Press Thornfall Minions suggested Battle box - consisting of Lord Carver, 2 Gun Boars and a War Hog.  Again, like werewolves, I love beastmen, or anything really that is symbolic of the bestial nature of man.  Should prove a balance to doing a Warmachine force, and if putting loads of effort into that gets to much, this is my fallback 35pt army in the making.

These will probably be going on the Rock/Slate scenic bases from Tiny Worlds (follow the link above), as I just love them.

Privateer Press Khador Man-O-War Shocktroopers, basically because it finishes off the Khador half of the Starter box, and adds a few more points to me hitting a 35pt army.

Larger Warbands/Units

Westwind Empire of the Dead Lycaon Warband - moar werewolves.  And half of number 3 on my original hitlist.  Again, aiming towards multiple fully painted skirmish forces, and at least if I have my own, I can get a game with someone else with one, or I'm at least half way there to having both forces done myself.

Tor Gaming Relics Orcnar Starter - because I've already committed to doing them, and have all the models sitting for a 400 point army.  Should technically have had these done last month, but luckily for me, with Christmas and all that general chaos, I didn't, so now they are sitting all built up and primed ready to go.

No, you aren't drunk, this just went all fuzzy when I enlarged it.

Spartan Games Dystopian Legions Federated States of America starter box.  The biggest offering, weighing in at 14 figures.  Another skirmish game, although, looking at the force organisation charts, and the fact it has fucking tanks, suggests this might end up being another mass battle game.  Still wondering how to paint these, either blue or grey for historical malarkey, or the same shitty brown as the ones on the packaging...

And finally, more Ogres in the shape of Mournfang Cavalry.  With full command, heavy armour and ironfists, as well as a magic flag, these guys should rock in about 500 points, turning an all your eggs in one basket into a huge chunk of the deficit in one fell swoop.

This.  Times Three.  With a flag.

So yeah, that about wraps it up.  Pretty sure that's enough shite from me to make up for the lack of posting anyway, I am considering another couple of revolutionary ideas, like no kickstarters in2013, or maybe seeing if I can go through the year only buying 12 or less miniatures...

Yeah, who the fuck am I kidding...

So, yeah, that's it all laid out, prepare for imminent dissapointment, and feel free to cajole, coerce or contribute over the coming 11.something months.  I've set up a googledoc spreadsheet of my list, which can be found here, for anyone interested in following some 'realtime' progress.  Basically when I remember/can be arsed to update it.


Monday, 28 February 2011

Going legit...

OK, well, it is still pretty much a work in progress, but plans have been put into motion...


Gaming armies, by gamers, for gamers.

Still have to add a few bits and bobs, and sort out decent photos, but it is definitely a start.

Friday, 18 February 2011

This is the new shit.


Mantic Abyssal Dwarfs.

Released on the 25th Feb.

How good am I, it's only the 18th now. Speedpainter indeed.

Thursday, 17 February 2011

This thing is deader than my army...

OK, I hold my hands up to it, very few updates recently.

I do have my excuses. Errrrr, reasons.

Working loads in January before I finished up on Leave, 3rd daughter born first week of February, rotation of snatched sleep, wiping shitty arses and painting like a demon since.

Taking a cue from me, Elli feeds at 3am, so, rather than being woken up, I just stay up until then, to save any guttural outbursts when the lights are switched on. Immune system fucked, temper shot to shit, painting progress progressing.

So, 365 Mantic models this year, and I've already managed 100 in Jan. One of the Fanatics on Warseer, lord marcus challenged me that he could paint 200 models in Feb before I could. Oh, the naivety of youth. So, having been burning the candle at both ends, and refusing to play the xbox on the wee TV, after daughter #2 put a cup through her second widescreen in 6 months... I've managed a fair bit. 151 models to date. That is this month alone. NOT including the 100 previously completed.

Oh yes, I am a fucking god. Or lunatic.

Here is what 120 Zombies look like


Wednesday, 19 January 2011

The Dead will walk.

Well, that'll be all 68 Undead models from the Mhorgoth's Revenge box painted up then.

Not bad going for 19 days so far.