Welcome to Hell!

So, I guess this is where I tell you this is my blog, and it is pretty much all about painting miniatures, and gaming with miniatures, and spending huge sums of money on miniatures. It may also include pictures of miniatures, and I'll even try and make sure they are painted.


The following material is bound to be laced with profanity. If you are offended by words like cock and arse, you may wish to avoid browsing whilst your mother is in the room. If words like shite and fuck offend you, then you may wish to hit the 'back' button on your browser. If liberal use of the word cunt offends you, how the fuck did you get this far?

Monday, 17 May 2010

The East 'Nuke' of Fife...

Well, I've recovered from the foray into Fife, the being awake for 26 hours, the nightshift, the sleeping an entire day, the next nightshift, and 3 hours sleep...

So, Saturday was a blast.

Big Mark's sat nat (bless him) was really coming the cunt. Threatened suicide just as we left the motorway at Kirkaldy. Which was useless, as even I could get to Kirkaldy, it was just the getting to KOA on arrival that was the issue.

After a hasty call to Dave, as we seemed to be standing on someones doorstep thinking 'This doesn't look like a shop' we made our way to the store. There was plenty of time to write out rosters (and re-write them when I discovered Karchev wasn't actually packed...) and imbibe lots of Rockstar and cigarettes.

List for Tournament went like this - Magnus, 2 x Renegade, Alexia and the Risen, Reinholdt and Eyriss (15 exact). Mark had Butcher, Juggernaut and the Behemoth (14). Lucky I stuck the Butcher in my case eh...

Now, I'll admit to 2 things. 1 - I have a lot of experience with Magnus (under MKI rules) and 2 - I tend to play for the 'caster kill, whether the scenario calls for it or not. I'd had a brief skim over the 10 possible scenarios for the day, and thankfully Magnus has amazing flexibility with his Feat. Getting across the table wasn't going to be an issue. Staying there was.

Let's see how things panned out -

Game 1 - Taylor, Khador (Butcher, Juggernaut, Destroyer, Manhunter, Eyriss). Scenario - The Gauntlet.

If there is one thing that puts the shits up me, it's an angry bald man with a huge chopper. (Read into that what you will...) I've used the Butch a few times, and faced him on many occassions and he is one hard bastard to put down. Two Khador heavies was also something I really didn't want to duke it out with. Easiest thing, go for the kill (after dealing with that damn Elf). First couple of turns saw us jockeying into position towards the centre of the table, and the deceiding factor was probably that the fake Eyriss (lol) missed her Disruptor shot on Magnus, leaving her open to Alexia (and sacraficial boosts) and the real (Merc) Eyriss nailed Butch with her focus-fucker. I'm always wary of dropping the bomb on the big man if he has any focus as I've hit him with a boosted roll of 18 and he's survived... Still dropped him with the first shot, and IIRC, the second one did him in. (Many details of the day are fuzzy due to sleep deprivation, excitement and caffinated beverage overdose). 'Caster kill didn't win the game, but as both his Solos were out and his 'jacks inert, I could claim the objective unmolested.

A first round win should be a great feeling. I was just shitting myself even more.

Game 2 - Jonathan, Cygnar (Kara, 2 x Hunter, Long Gunners with UA, Reinholdt) Scenario - Killbox.

Can you have a grudge match with someone you've never played before? If so, this was one. Mark had faced Jonathan in the first round and had had his army systematically raped by a very specialised list. Kudos for list building, nul points for sportsmanship. Considering Mark had played 1 battlebox game prior to the day, and that pretty much consisted of him and Woostie moving the models where I told them and rolling the dice, he hadn't stood a chance. It was time to try and save some face.

Now, I've never seen Kara played before, and only had the briefest glance at her rules, so I wasn't too sure what to expect. Big mistake. I was getting shot to shit crossing the table, and Kara was being extremely backwards in coming forwards... To cut a long story short, I had Magnus, a pretty trashed Renegade, and Reinholdt left. He had... his entire army...

Magnus popped his feat, getting himself 20" across the table, straight into close combat with Ms. Sloan, and causing Jonathans face to go white. And possibly his pants to go brown. Sitting on all his focus left me at effective Armour of 23, which was a safe bet against Kara's P+S of 9... Still, Mags was duly Headbutted in the back by a Hunter, knocking him on his ass, and Kara skipped away, levelled her peashooter, and found herself SOL as the Feign Death special rule prevents Magnus being targetted at range when KD'ed. That's funny, but it gets better. Kara sniped the Renegade instead, missed, clipping her own Hunter, the used her free movement to get even further away from the angry Magnus. So far away, that she left the Killbox. Game Over Man! Well, there was the small matter of the Long Gunners activating, but, they were (hiding) too far from Magnus to charge, and couldn't target him either. Oh, how I laughed. I was really struggling during this game, and was handed the win on a plate. A very harsh reminder to focus on the Scenario at all times.

Game 3 - Shaun, Protectorate of Menoth (Severius, Crusader, two lights beginning with R... one had a flamethrower, 2 x Choir, 3 x Wrack) Scenario - Close Quarters

Now, I've not faced many POM armies, and I don't think I've ever seen Severius played, so again, I was in once again in unfamiliar territory. Shaun had set his 3 Wracks around the objective that I needed to control, prompting the thought 'What a cunt', swiftly followed by 'Yup, I'd do the same.' (Note - anyone who knows me will be aware of my liberal use of the word 'cunt'. This is by no means meant as offensive. It is a label for many things, and over the course of a day, many people will be labelled as such, with no ill will at all). I think rumours had started to circulate concerning the brutality of the Renegades, so Shaun (very wisely) spent his first two turns moving up, putting Safe Passage on two of his 'jacks. The old man keep himself behing some ruins after turn one, and moved out behind the Choir in turn two. My first turn consisted of sticking Snipe on a Renegade, and moving up the table, ready for a turn 2 assault on any POM forces that overstepped the mark. Eyriss blitzed up the table into some woods, ready to strip focus in turn two. Severius had spunked all his focus, so the disrupter bolt was maybe a little bit of overkill, although, it was a turn 3 safety net. I have lost track of how many times I should have saved Eyriss until after the 'gades have shot their load, just incase I need the 3 damage from the Deathbolt to finish the job. Against a KD'ed 'caster it's pretty much a given she'll hit. Anyway, Sniped Renegade was in range of Severius, as he wasn't screened by the Choir, and with an effective RAT of 8 plus boosted roll, the Obliterator shot found it's mark. Boosted damage was 3d6+2, which was more than enough to shred the old man. Shaun called it a day at that, not confident that his 8 Choir Boys could hold off my army. I felt bad telling him that if we did carry on, I'd be rolling blast damage against one of the Choir leaders... (Gotta love that 4" AOE template).

Game 4 - Jordan, Mercs - Highborn (Ashlynn, Mule, Rutger Shaw, Vanguard, Tarryn, Gorman, Anastasia) Scenario - Capture the Flag

A very Solo heavy list, meaning that 'caster kill wasn't gonna be as effective here. Despite the fact I play Mercs, I'll admit to being unfamiliar with most of these, save Gorman and the 'jacks. I know all about Ashlynn, but only from across the table.

It's getting late. Well, late in that I need to get ready for work. I'll finish this in the morning.

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